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Ridiculous things you tell a Cop.

9K views 91 replies 42 participants last post by  shikikanzero 
#1 ·
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve said to a Cop? If or when you got pulled over. Let it be to avoid the ticket or just to be a jerk cause you know you were going to get a ticket regardless.


In my case… when the Cop asked me “Do you know how fast you were going?” I responded, “I don’t know, you tell me, you are the one who pulled me over”. And with the same cop, when he asked me not to be a smart @$$ and actually told me I was doing 130mph. My response to him was “What?!?! This bike doesn’t even go that fast!” lol… It was on a 600 CBR. I got lucky he didn’t arrest me though.
 
#2 ·
GREAT idea for a thread.. Ive got tons of stories about getting pulled over, lunkly I've only recieved 1 speeding ticket for all my offences.

Last time I got stopped I was on my 071kRR. I had just ordered a LeoVince slip on from Brad and got it installed the night I got it. Well after the install I obviously wanted to test it out, so I hopped on the only decent highway nearby and got on the throtle.. Well I got caught probably at or around 95mph. Cop walks up and asks me for my papers and why I was in such a hurry. I dont really tell him much other than I didnt know I was going too fast.. blah blah blah.. Then I notice that there is alot of smoke coming out of the exhaust! He said my bike wouldnt be smoking like that if I wasnt going faster then I should haha. I hop off to take a look at it, and explain that I had just installed the exhaust and was giving it a little test - to hear the exaust I had to get the revs up aka might have been going a little fast. The smoke was just the brand new packing in the can getting broken in. The cop was cool about it and let me go with a verbal warning.
 
#3 ·
Well. I know what I did. You know what I did.. but lets call it was an improper lane change..

(was doing a wheelie on someone elses bike.. on the interstate. no paperwork. dont know guys last name. etc...)

cop spent so much time making sure it wasnt stolen, that he let me off with a improper lane change warning.. because when i was on one wheel, i changed lanes and didnt signal. lol.
 
#4 ·
also after JUST ganking up a wheelie, and seeing a unmarked car, I set it down.

i slow.
cop slows.
cop blue lights, i pull over.

he asks me wtf im doing.
i ask if he saw that guy merging over 3 lanes for the exit.. if i didnt speed up, he would have sideswiped me.
he asks how long ive been riding
my almost exact reply:

"Sir, I have been riding short enough that I will accidentally yank the wheel under heavy sudden acceleration, but I have been riding long enough to not panic and gently set it back down."

I got off with no warning or ticket.
 
#6 ·
I personally have noting out of the ordinary that Ive said to a cop. But I will never forget the time when I was like 10 and my dad got pulled for rolling through a stop sign and he told the cop "it said stop not stay" I didn't laugh then but it cracks me up every time I think of it now. The cop didn't laugh either and gave him the ticket :th_down:
 
#34 ·
my dad got pulled for rolling through a stop sign and he told the cop "it said stop not stay" I didn't laugh then but it cracks me up every time I think of it now. The cop didn't laugh either and gave him the ticket :th_down:
I LOVE IT!

Cop: Anything in the car i need to know about.
Me: Um i have some really old chicken. (Work car)
Cop: WHAT
Me: i never clean this car out. I have a kfc box thats very old in the back.

a few minutes later

Cop: pulls the drug dog out of the car in a mad hurry. Throws the box by my feet and in a very mad voice says THATS FUCKING NASTY

Me: GOOD BOY

i was clean and now know i can say no to searches. NO TICKET
WTF LOL
 
#8 ·
My freind was riding without a license and he just got his first bike gs500f so at the light a cop stopped coming the other direction, and it turned green for him ... he got scared of the cop and getting pulled over so ... he didn't move lol .. he just stood there ... and it turned green for the cop so he pulled him over and asked; why you didn't go on the green?! .. he replied: it's out of respect for you. LMAO. he got a ticket lol.
 
#9 ·
Cop: Anything in the car i need to know about.
Me: Um i have some really old chicken. (Work car)
Cop: WHAT
Me: i never clean this car out. I have a kfc box thats very old in the back.

a few minutes later

Cop: pulls the drug dog out of the car in a mad hurry. Throws the box by my feet and in a very mad voice says THATS FUCKING NASTY

Me: GOOD BOY

i was clean and now know i can say no to searches. NO TICKET
 
#10 ·
I got pulled over one time on the interstate.. It was cold, and I was FLYING home (about a 2 hour drive, I was going to make the ride in a hour 20 or less). Out of no where I see a cop car with its lights on in my rear view just getting on the highway. Obviously looking for me so I slowed down and stopped. Walked up and asked if I knew how fast I was going, I said "no sir, about 70 I think" (70 was the speed limit), he just kinda looked around the bike for a second not really saying anything. So I ask "So how fast was I going?" and he said "I was in the drive through line back there, I only heard you I didnt see how fast". I knew I was in the clear at that point. Truth being told when he heard me I was probably doing north of 130mph.
 
#11 ·
Okay, this is gonna be long one.
Warning for speeding with my semi truck,cop asked me why i was speeding, and i answer to catch the hill faster.written warning.
Ticket for unsafe lane change with semi truck, and i just forgot to give turn signal.cop said that i wanted to sneak in between cars,and i said, this is semi truck, its not car that is 14 or 16 feet long, its truck with trailer and its 72 feet long, you cannot just sneak it in between cars.and he asked me where i am from because of my accent, i said i am from Macedonia, from europe, and he says, oooo i know thats in Russia.i said to my self,i bet you dont know where is washington state you stupid motherf.....
Warning for speeding with Pick up truck,cop asked why i was driving fast, and my answer was, semi truck went into my lane because the truck driver was eating sandwich,and i just floored the gas pedal and runned away from impact.written warning.
Ticket for seatbelt,but it was that ,instead of speeding ticket, 42 on 35 mph zone.
TICKET for speeding with wife's car, clocked me with 92 on 70 mph on interstate, question from cop was, why i was constantly speeding and driving at least 90 mph and that untill he flipped over to come behind me it took him 3 miles to catch me,(i was doing 110 at some point).my answer was ,car is good,road i great,weather is nice,no trafic, nice conditions.he said nice conditions for ticket. And he smiled.
Verbal warning for driving without helmet, and i just went to store to get spray can.
And last one was, cop folowed me 3 miles on streets because i did hard acceleration on a trafic light.he was waiting another mistake from me so he can pull me over but he never did.
 
#38 · (Edited)
If you knew a little about history you would know that Macedonia is in Greece and is the motherland of Alexander the Great. Even now we are talkin there is a big archaiological operation in amfipolis in Macedonia-Greece where there is a great tomb which is believed to belong to Alexander the Great's family. Maybe even his. I really don't get how Skopje decided to change their name to Macedonia and try to steal our history. And they even have built a big statue of Alexander the Great in their country... It is exactly the same as if France would build a big ben.... So please learn some history and stop spreading propaganda all over the world.

http://www.cc.ece.ntua.gr/~conster/
Here you can read some facts.
Cheers
 
#12 ·
One Sunday, on my 600RR, I was riding pretty lively and doing some overtaking.
When I get to the next town I have this civilian car behind me, honking horn,
signalling something to me,
I thought something might have fell off my bike, so I pull in,
civilian jumps out, shows me police badge, and he starts giving me absolute hell about my riding,
said he had to pass 20 odd cars to catch me, and I'm in big trouble ra ra.

I was after noticing that he reeked of alcohol (around midday), and right then I thought "fuck this".
So I reared up to him and said, "I might have been riding fairly quick, and overtaking, but at least I'm not pissed outta my fuckin' skull while driving"
Told him he reeked of drink! That put him right into his box :)
My heart was pounding at this stage, I held out my hand to shake his,
And I said "Thanks very much for keeping an eye out for me, I understand your point, now I'll be on my way", "I'm almost late for the drag racing I've entered"
He walked away with tail between legs lol:thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
#14 ·
One time back when I was in high school, I had just got out of class and traffic was really bad. Was stuck at a light about a quarter mile long and I needed to turn left, so I rode between my lane and the oncoming lane(on the yellow line) up to the left turn. As soon as I start turning left a cop pops out of the line I just passed, flicks his lights on and does the same thing I just did to catch me. I live in Washington and I told him I just moved from California and that "lane splitting and that kinda shit" was legal there, he checked my record and let me off with a warning and told me to read up on Washington motorcycle laws lol.

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Motorcycle.com Free App
 
#16 ·
In 2000, I was finishing my degree but I worked full time. I was doing IT work on the night shift, or B shift and would get off at 11pm. One day I rode to work and right before it's time to get off they said it was about to rain very hard. So I hopped on the bike and started blasting home. I didn't even get 5 miles from work (about a 20 mile ride) and got lit up. I pull over and the cop is being a royal prick. He stated that he had just nabbed a guy on a Ninja 10 minutes earlier. He asked why I was speeding and I explained that it was about to rain and when it first starts raining, it is the most dangerous. After 30 minutes, no big deal, once the oils run off the asphalt.

So I explain this to him and he informs that he has a thing against bikes because he wrecked one, blah blah. So you had a bad accident that was your own fault and I'm supposed to bear the brunt, bs. He goes on to say how dangerous they are and by this time I'm tired of hearing it. I kind of wish I would have played the "Yes sir officer, yes sir, I'm your bitch" deal but I was sick of it. I say "Look at me, and what I'm wearing!" I had on a Roadcrafter (full suit with back protector) and explained to him that he should be pursuing squids. Right as I am explaining the difference it stars sh1tting down rain, I mean heavy rain, complete down pour. I mouthed off again "See, what did I tell you." He then asks me to move underneath the underpass because he is already tired of getting wet. "Great" I say. I lipped off a couple of more times with "Told ya" or something to that effect and he says "Shut up or I'll write you another ticket." I take my ticket, ride 40 MPH on the highway, hydroplaning 1/2 the time and get home.

The very next day I ordered a V1 and a stem stand, a year later, a H.A.R.D. system and haven't had a ticket since.

For the last 10 years I pick the popo off in the twisties and slow down well before I come across their bow. Every single time I wave to them to say hi and have been flipped off numerous times. They hear me but nothing they can do.

Thank you V1 and Legalspeeding.com ;)
 
#19 ·
Where to start.... hmm... First time was on my r1, got pulled over riding alone at night leaving the "spot"
Cop - why are you riding alone?
Me - dont want anyone to know where i live
Cop - what kinda bike is this
Me - 03 limited edition r1
Cop - so thats y it has flames huh?
Me - yessir
Cop - Pretty fast huh?
Me - well sir, a girl told me it looked pretty sitting still
Cop - haha true, I like it and saw it so i lit you up to see what you would do... Good looking bike, be careful ride safe!

Second time i got lit up i was getting passed by a minivan and i was going 50 or so and he wrote me a ticket for 56 in a 50.....

Third time about a year ago or so... i was rolling with a friend and we passed a lifted black silverado with a grill guard and constable on the side in black reflective letters...
he clocked us at 86 and let us go bc had to answer a rollover call and he told us to slow down. Cool guy, i later found out that truck has a 6.2L with a supercharger and the lights are all in the grill and front window

Fourth time - got clocked passing a grand prix with constable on the side in white reflective letters in a small town on i35, he pulled up after i stopped and rolled the window down and said HEY, YOU'RE NO GOING TO RUN ARE YOU?? i said no sir and he said he clocked me at 96 in a 70 and asked me to slow down...

Mind you... I JUST got my license about 3 months ago... and here's where my last time getting stopped comes in...

April 29th... Riding home, heard sirens while i was sitting at the light, looked down, saw lights and a trooper so i hand motioned that i was going to pull over, pulled thru the light and over to the side b/c the cars in front of me did the same. Officer rolls up on me with gun drawn... tells me to get off, and cuffs me right then and there. He says why'd you run from me? I didnt sir, i never saw or heard you until i was at the light, well... whyd you pull over? b/c i saw and heard you when i was at the light. oh ok... well there was reports of an officer across town chasing a guy on a red bike with a red helmet./ well sir i wasnt on that side of town, i was here etc. well we still have to wait on that cop from across town to get over here. so we sat and waited... Fat cop pulls up in a tahoe and asks why i ran from him, i say ive never seen you before, well i chased you here, me - sir, i was never there, i went by the golf course home,... Oh yea thats where i you ran from me, go ahead and confess and save us both some time, its my video vs your word... i said sir i did nothing wrong and have nothing to confess to... he said well ok you're not going home tonight and he slammed the door.
I got hit with 2 counts of felony evading arrest, 2 5k bonds, 320 in impound fees, 1035 to my bail bond lady, and the cheapest lawyer is going to cost me around 3500....
Ive been praying for everything to get dismissed but more than likely ill have to retain a lawyer and fight the case and shoot for deferred probation.... I was talking with the trooper on the way to jail and i said sir, do you really think i was evading arrest? I was at a stop light with an open lane where i could have turned right and i was out near the country where i could have ran for MILES... he said well no youve got a good point and kept driving.... So yea guys thats my experiences with officers. Mind you my dad was a deputy sheriff for 20+ years around this area and if this goes to court, ive got about 50 character letters from the officers he worked with over the years so itll be a battle, also i never turned my head or looked in my mirrors while i was riding home AND... neither cop clocked my speed... phew... sorry for the rant
 
#26 ·
April 29th... Riding home, heard sirens while i was sitting at the light, looked down, saw lights and a trooper so i hand motioned that i was going to pull over, pulled thru the light and over to the side b/c the cars in front of me did the same. Officer rolls up on me with gun drawn... tells me to get off, and cuffs me right then and there. He says why'd you run from me? I didnt sir, i never saw or heard you until i was at the light, well... whyd you pull over? b/c i saw and heard you when i was at the light. oh ok... well there was reports of an officer across town chasing a guy on a red bike with a red helmet./ well sir i wasnt on that side of town, i was here etc. well we still have to wait on that cop from across town to get over here. so we sat and waited... Fat cop pulls up in a tahoe and asks why i ran from him, i say ive never seen you before, well i chased you here, me - sir, i was never there, i went by the golf course home,... Oh yea thats where i you ran from me, go ahead and confess and save us both some time, its my video vs your word... i said sir i did nothing wrong and have nothing to confess to... he said well ok you're not going home tonight and he slammed the door.
I got hit with 2 counts of felony evading arrest, 2 5k bonds, 320 in impound fees, 1035 to my bail bond lady, and the cheapest lawyer is going to cost me around 3500....
Ive been praying for everything to get dismissed but more than likely ill have to retain a lawyer and fight the case and shoot for deferred probation.... I was talking with the trooper on the way to jail and i said sir, do you really think i was evading arrest? I was at a stop light with an open lane where i could have turned right and i was out near the country where i could have ran for MILES... he said well no youve got a good point and kept driving.... So yea guys thats my experiences with officers. Mind you my dad was a deputy sheriff for 20+ years around this area and if this goes to court, ive got about 50 character letters from the officers he worked with over the years so itll be a battle, also i never turned my head or looked in my mirrors while i was riding home AND... neither cop clocked my speed... phew... sorry for the rant
WOW, I've had an eerily similar experience!! There is nothing worse than getting caught up in something that isn't true, or you had nothing to do with.

3 years ago on my 600rr at the time, I was stuck behind an oil tanker that was kicking concussion worthy rocks, it was about 11:30 at night and not only was I avoiding flying rocks, but also trying to dodge them in the road. I slowed down, let him get about 30 seconds ahead of me and still, dodging all the rocks was impossible. If I turned around for another route home, it would have been a 90 minute ride, whereas I was only about 15 minutes from home at this time. I take my time working back up to the tanker, reach a passing zone and get out wide and RIP by & quickly get back in the lane. I hit 95mph , got in to my lane and quickly dropped down to 55 - even hitting my brakes.

I get about 2 miles down the road and BAM, here comes the trooper with his lights. I pulled over promptly pull my key out of the ignition, hold it up in the air and toss it behind me. He yells to get off the bike & get on the ground, I hobbled off the bike with my bad knee and get on the ground. He drives his knee into my back and hand cuffs me, with my helmet on, gloves on, jacket on, etc.

Asks me if I know how fast I was going. I said I hit 95. He goes no, 97. He asks for my license & registration, I said it's in my bike and I obviously can't get to it now. Get it yourself. Now he seemed a bit apprehensive, like maybe he jumped the gun a bit. He comes and uncuffs me and tells me to get it myself & then to sit back on the bike.

He takes my info and time is dragging by, 20 mins go by and he hasn't left his car. Another trooper rolls up, has a quick look at me, u-turns and leaves. Then a local rolls up, takes a look and leaves. At this point I'm wondering WTF is going on, so I turn around and throw my hands up at the officer. He jumps out of his car and before he could say anything I said I'd appreciate it if you quit dicking around and either fine me or let me go. Why am I being held on the side of the road??

He approached me aggressively and hands me my information back and asks why I'm limping. I said it's because I have a bad knee and why does it matter? He asks if I had anything to drink, I said yeah, water, about 2 hours and 20 minutes ago...then he asks me if I have anything in the bike he needs to know about? I said officer, my bike barely has room to hold my wallet, there isn't any drugs in my motorcycle. So finally he asks why I was doing 97, I asked if he saw all the rocks in the road & he goes "go on", I explained how I dropped back from the tanker kicking up the rocks but it didn't really help me get to my destination any safer, so I decided to catch up and pass the tanker as quickly as possible.

So he explains how he saw me drop back and felt I was going to do a high speed run & at that point he flipped his lights on and was "only 100 feet behind me" with his lights on, accused me of evading, reckless driving, speeding & driving to endanger, claiming I made a threatening & intimidated pass on the tanker??

My blood boiled and I almost exploded. I told him bullshit, we were in a pitch black area & I would have seen his lights from over a mile away on this straight stretch of highway & that I was actually 5 mph under the speed limit until I was directly behind the tanker and pulled out to pass him.

A few minutes go by with some arguing between the two of us, he tells me from my town, someone matching my description about 2 hours prior, evaded the locals & that was his primary reason for pulling me over. He asked if it was me. I was so incredibly angry at this point I said it doesn't matter what I tell you because you're a fucking prick. Not even 30 seconds later another local rolls up, pulls in front of me and gets out. The trooper asks if it was me who evaded, the local takes one look and said "sir, his bike is white. the bike in question is red with a short male with matching red boots and helmet. This citizen is on a white motorcycle in black with a chrome helmet, not matching the PPD's description".

Needless to say, the trooper looked at me and said slow down & go home. I said a big F you and then a thanks to the local officer.

Never been verbally combative with the police before or since.
 
#20 ·
If the guy looks like a dick and talks like a dick I ask him where the logic is that its ok for him to speed faster than me in his family car to catch up to a sport bike or sports car (depending on what I'm driving) and I have to pay a fine even tho he was more dangerous than me on the road. Not one has thought about this. Other wise I crack a joke and hope I get away scott free.
 
#21 ·
Headed home from a short Sunday afternoon ride and approach a line of cars essentially stopped in right hand lane entering a shopping mall parking lot. Instead of getting stuck, I flip the throttle to clear car next to me so I can switch into left lane to avoid parking lot debacle. About a block further down that road, officer jumps out into the road and flags me over. I pull over, stop, turn bike off. He walks up asks for license and paperwork. I pull everything out from under seat, hand it over and ask how fast he clocked me going. He says 56 in 35. I said I normally avoid this road due to the mall traffic and the day I decide not to, I get clocked in a speed trap. He asks why I didn't run. I then explained that I don't run from police anymore...too old for that. If I screwup, I'll deal with the consequences. He starts looking over the bike and asks me to start it up. So I comply, but I'm wondering what his angle is. He asks what type of aftermarket exhaust I had installed. I told him it was a Taylormade. He then says the bike looks and sounds nice...then, do I have any tickets. I say nope, not in last 4 years. He gives me a ticket for 47 in 35, tells me to go to court, pay ticket, plead article 5474, that will get me 6 months probation and if I do not get any citations in that city during probation, ticket disappears. I apologize again for speeding and he tells me to slow down, and that he cut me a break on the speed he wrote up because I didn't run and he didn't have to chase. Ticket cost $160, been well over 6 months, so hopefully ticket is not on record, and I still avoid that road till this day.
 
#22 ·
When I lived in northern California, I was riding to work on I80 at about 6 AM in the fast lane. I was going about 11 MPH over the limit. I am cruising along and this Harley starts riding my butt. I was getting annoyed with him, so I got on the gas to about 85-90 in a 65. It turns out the Harley was a motorcycle cop. He pulled up next to me and yelled "SLOW DOWN!" I waved and did 65 the rest of the way to work.
 
#23 ·
Cop asked why I was going so fast. I explained that my pillion has asthma and is currently having an attack, so we need to get to his house for his inhaler. Then my pillion took off his helmet and started laughing uncontrollably. Unfortuntely the laughing didn't pass for an asthma attack.
 
#24 ·
Mine is just a case of bad luck. The cops in South Africa are very lenient towards bikes so I never ride with a numberplate and have never been pulled over for it.

Just after I got my Blade I was out Geocaching and I stop at a stop sign and just as I pull away a guy skips the stop and misses me by inches. I got pissed, chased him down, screamed at him and gave him the finger. I take the first turn we got to and BAM! I speed into a roadblock.

Cop wanted to give me a ticket for reckless driving and riding without a plate, but I explained what happened and I got a ticket for just the plate. First and only ticket in 8 years.
 
#25 ·
A few years ago I got pulled over for speeding. I don’t remember how fast I was going, but it was well north of the legal speed limit. Cop asks, “Why are you in such a hurry?” I reply that I’ve got an explosive case of diarrhea and I’m trying to get home before I sheet myself.
Cop hands me back my license and tells me to have a nice day. I still don’t believe he let me go.
 
#28 ·
did the customary whoolie past my boys cross where he died (moto wreck)...cop pulls me over tazer drawn...tosses me in the back of the car...i explain that i did it in memory of my boy...he said he worked the scene the night he died...let me go but i did get a thorough lecture.

stopped for improper plate placement...spoke like an educated person...got let go with a warning. knowledge and sincerety go a long way...unless ignorance feels threatened...then youre going to the clink.
 
#30 ·
wow I am so jealous that u guys been dealing with nice officers! i always deal with dick heads!

so last month
I was riding back from my work entering 35w with my 2012 cbr1000rr and i speeded up a lil because the old freakin lady in front of me slammed on her brakes. so when i speeded up and cut to the next line, i basically cut in front of a trooper lol!

so he pulled me over!

cop: in his car talking thro the speakers! SHUT OFF THE BIKE! AND GET OFF IT
me : okay shut it off and got off it
cop: came to me and said I clocked u doing 80 on a 60.
me: explained the story! and told him that after i passed the car i slowed down!
cop: NO, u slowed down cus u saw me!
me: umm no sir, if i saw me before a while back, i wouldnt be stopping!
cop: GIVE ME UR ID... stays 10 mins in his car
cop: completely changed the subject. hey u can't have headsets while u riding, its illegal!
me: okay!!

then the fucker came back with 2 tickets. he give me one for speeding and one for having head sets on! really!

so I have trial in a week and ill see if i can drop it or do something about it!
any suggestions????????????????????????


Another time i was riding on why 694 for a cruise with my RC51. i saw a trooper going 70, so I drove 70 next to him! he went to 85, i went to 85 next to him, then he went to 60 and i went to 60 next to him LOL then he slowed all the way down while i am slowing down with him haha till like 50 then pulled me over.

cop: u trying to race me son!
me: I would win if i did
cop: laughed and asked me for my papers, give me a warning!
me: warning! and i was like warning for what? u didn't clock me lol
cop: still, just cus u were speeding.. blah blah blah!!!


and way much more stories. but what u guys think? any ideas to get rid of the ticket or anything like that!?
 
#32 ·
Another time i was riding on why 694 for a cruise with my RC51. i saw a trooper going 70, so I drove 70 next to him! he went to 85, i went to 85 next to him, then he went to 60 and i went to 60 next to him LOL then he slowed all the way down while i am slowing down with him haha till like 50 then pulled me over.

cop: u trying to race me son!
me: I would win if i did
cop: laughed and asked me for my papers, give me a warning!
me: warning! and i was like warning for what? u didn't clock me lol
cop: still, just cus u were speeding.. blah blah blah!!!


QUOTE]

This is hilarious and the trooper was cool about it. A warning.... no biggie.
The speeding charge would have stuck because you were pacing him and his evidence is the car's certified speedometer. Beside, behind or in front of him, he knows how fast you were going because he knows how fast he was going.

Indiana State Police wear baseball hats runnning unmarked Camaroes and Mustangs daring you to race. You bite, on go the blue lights in the grille
and its off to jail you go !
 
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