had the same thing over winter, turns out it was just a low battery (thought the trickle charger was on and it wasn't), even though the cranking sounded fine. You said you replaced the battery, sounds dumb but just making sure its fully charged?
You said the pump primes, do you actually havefuel pressure? becareful, if you disconnect the quick-connect, and prime the pump (turn the key on), fuel will spray, sounds dumb, but easily done when your in the middle of things. Guilty.
you replaced the plugs, but are you actually getting spark? I bet it something really simple.
Don't be a road crayon, pavement does not care how cool you think you look in a t-shirt and shorts.