Ok then here is what the next important piece of information is. With the preload adjuster is all the way backed off. What is the length of the installed spring?That depends on where I put the remote adjuster. With the collar 6.5mm from the top of the shock right now it takes 16 turns of the remote adjuster to get 30mm sag.
This will not be an easy thing to measure as it is all, but impossible to measure it accurately to the millimeter when the spring is hidden inside the swingarm, but this is exactly the kind of info we use to determine proper set-up.
It sounds like you need more spring with less preload, but again the numbers tell the real story nd if you have altered the initial collar preload from stock too far then that can also cause you a bit of grief.